I6. Upward
‘How do I best get to the top of this hill?’
‘Climb it, don’t think it, and maybe you will.’
16. Aufwärts.
“Wie komm ich am besten den Berg hinan?”
Steig nur hinauf und denk nicht dran!
I prefer to hold it together in style
I have stand to long
deteriorating
with my feet stuck
in foreign soil
though the lines I carved
are still there
I feel the fracktures
even the ones I crossed
in the past
I bare a cross
I believe it
is a mark
A double jeopardy?
You tried to eat your own tail
but you couldn't find it
your first disappointment
There are two lights in my life
you and me
Casually you walk into the choices you make not caring what you might have the carry you know what you want it's just a hand full of things and no temptations you go on
For a while you let me air
not always
but when I wanted
and I don’t know if it was the wall that collapsed
or you that fell down
but either way
the opening you left
seems to work too
It's just a turn of a switch
like making a decision
but the other choices
taunt me
like if they were even possible
after I was sure
and made up a mind
I woke my dream
and fell asleep
It is a luxury
when you can study your landing
I see life’s colors
above the horizon
but my grey stay’s
the dark soil holds
and the colors I see
they are there
Like all self portraits
this one is also artificial
and not really intelligent
8 In the night. -As soon as night falls, our feeling about the nearest of things is changed. There is the wind, which travels as if upon forbidden paths, whispering as if seeking something, annoyed because it does not find it. There is the lamplight, with a gloomy, reddish gleam, gazing wearily, striving unwillingly against the night, an impatient slave of wakeful human beings. There are the breaths of someone sleeping, their shuddering rhythm to which an ever-returning care seems to sound the melody-we do not hear it, but if the breast of the sleeper rises up, we feel our heart constricted and if the breath sinks down and almost dies into a deathly stillness, we say to ourselves, “rest a while, you poor, tormented spirit!” -we wish for an eternal peace for all living things, because they live so oppressed; night is persuasive about death. -If humans do without the sun and lead the battle against the night with moonlight and oil, what philosophy would wrap its veil around them! We already perceive how living half of their lives veiled by darkness and deprivation of sunlight casts a pall upon the whole of humans’ spiritual and psychic nature.
I burned my finger on a lie
I don’t know if it was yours or mine
looking at my finger
I now know
but it still hurts
after all these days
I was looking for a new book to listen to, and I don’t want to go into too much detail, but one was written by a christian scholar (Nigel Biggar, Colonialism. A Moral Reckoning) who more or less was downplaying the harm of wars and imperialism. After some research, I understand that he has an agenda and started with a conclusion instead of looking for one, but what made me write the lines above was that he is a christian who follows the morals of his (instituted) religion. You have to put in a lot of effort to see, even if it is just a little, the good things in imperialism and suppressing whole groups of people just because they interfere with your way of doing things. I think you can only learn this behavior from the society around you, and what better to use a book for this with the stamp of some higher power on it and supported by a state and institutionalized religion.
Later in the day, I looked on Mastadon, and one of the posts quoted 3 peaceful parts of different religions as if to say that we all have to believe that we should live in peace because it says so in these holy books. I don’t know, but it is pretty easy to quote some terrible lines out of all these same books, so why not forget them if you can use them as an excuse for everything you do, good and bad.
Nochrisis 