Day 1090, couch.

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The left side of the couch

is where I stare,

sitting in the middle –

where future meets past

my silence –

of the room.


Day 1089, my room.

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I was cooking the other day

and sorrows where thinking for me,

between the damp and smoke.

It’s a mess, said my room

up there, in my thoughts

where I stare at the walls.


Day 1082, Cold mountains.

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Life, thinly spread out in the valleys of white mountains and dark soil.

The loneliness here is in its nature close when the silence takes you.

And the cold coming from the mountains gives you a harsh calm.


Day 1050, life.

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Black cliffs doom


a defile


I feel


in calm waters

I move

feel judged

my mind plays

I see


the many faces

in me


I waver

through the current

that resolves

and flows


black cliffs doom


Constructed memory.

Curacao, 1994

Why do I think we all build a structure, a narrative, that explains or bears our existence?

First of all, it’s a story I’ve been telling myself for many years, if I tell you about its origin, I guarantee you that it is…a structure. It probably started while reading a book, but I don’t know what book or where I read it.

We all been in situations where you are certain about a situation, certain facts you remember from the past. Till you meet someone that was with you at the time and recollects it totally different.

Continue reading “Constructed memory.”

Day 1004, a dream by my side.

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The need to be alone together with no one and so close to belong somewhere single and go my own way of love for the one outside my reach out to myself at night lying there in my memory with love from the past that was good to hold out with no breath in my neck I can turn and go to the one that I love and learn to hate this being alone i sometimes cry for no reason i feel great walking proud my own way and I see those eyes shooting lightning in my heard burning pain and pleasure all at once in my days single and never alone going up while falling on my knees kissing feet pulling strings in my brain to maintain my own smile alive to get one inside this life I betray my own pride and still go the road that I so much like and also need is what I tell when I lie awake alone the nights before I fall asleep together with a dream by my side.

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