We were probably standing still here, not to give the kids a chance to pose for me, but still, they did. I was almost always in the last car, looking back at what came towards us and my camera was never far away. We were for those kids, probably what the police or firefighters were to us when we were that young. I was stationed in an area of Cambodia bordering Thailand. It was an erea that was abandoned for many years because the Kmehr Rouge was holding out there to the last moment. After the first UN soldiers arrived, the people living in the refugee camps in Thailand came slowly back. Most of them were born in refugee camps in Cambodia’s neighboring country and had no bond with the area aside from some sparse stories of the elders who survived the killings. These kids you see here are most likely not aware of what happened to the place they soon started calling home; by now, they probably know what they live there.
Through the early winter
into the long night
I survived by the grace
of the place I ended
hanging by a thread
in just enough light
for my dying
conscious
rotten
corps
the coming spring will never
let me bloom again
but that is just a fact
32. THE BRAKE.—To suffer morally, and then to learn afterwards that this kind of suffering was founded upon an error, shocks us. For there is a unique consolation in acknowledging, by our suffering, a “deeper world of truth” than any other world, and we would much rather suffer and feel ourselves above reality by doing so (through the feeling that, in this way, we approach nearer to that “deeper world of truth”), than live without suffering and hence without this feeling of the sublime. Thus it is pride, and the habitual fashion of satisfying it, which opposes this new interpretation of morality. What power, then, must we bring into operation to get rid of this brake? Greater pride? A new pride ?
6. THE JUGGLER AND HIS COUNTERPART.—That which is wonderful in science is contrary to that which is wonderful in the art of the juggler. For the latter would wish to make us believe that we see a very simple causality, where, in reality, an exceedingly complex causality is in operation.
Science, on the other hand, forces us to give up our belief in the simple causality exactly where everything looks so easily comprehensible and we are merely the victims of appearances. The simplest things are very “complicated”—we can never be sufficiently astonished at them !
I think I never blamed my parents for the way they raised me. It was never really in my character to blame them, and now that I am older I realize that they where just kids when they gave life to me and my younger brother and sister. The way that you are raised has of course an influence on you, but I don’t think we should overestimate it. I was at least lucky enough that my parents wanted to steer me in the right direction, and didn’t blame me to much for their mistakes, but I have to admit that beauty for me cannot go without some flaws, and I like mine.
No matter what kind of parents you have, there is some kind of Stockholm syndrome going on when you think back, and tell your story. Parents get these random, scared little persons thrown into their laps, to take care of. They are not allowed to go, and are ensured by their hostage-takers that they will be fine, as long as they listen to them. After what seems to be ages, they are suddenly free to go, they smell the freedom, like they never smelled it before. And the people that kept you hostage for all these years, you thank them for their protection, and you visit them once a year in their jails.
I am not a parent, but I can imagine that a parent with a conscience is, without a choice, put on a trajectory that revolves around their kids, and no longer only around their own will. This is the kind of jail I was thinking of, but I am not sure that what I feel, is freedom.
The inspiration for today comes from a poem I wrote last year, Day 1577.
All that lives, or is just matter on this earth, has to live according to natures rules. We all are slaves to friction, erosion, gravity and the sun that puts most of this in motion. Within these boundaries it seems to be a free for all, we see some order in for instance the erosion of a rock formation, but only when we focus on a part of all that is the cause of this erosion.
Wind and water take the softer parts of the rock in their own fashion. We know about the water, and the wind, and rain, we can go several steps deeper when trying to explain what the reason is that rocks erode. My point is that a four year old kid that starts asking questions like: why? That even the smartest person alive can maybe answer 30 times before they have to concede. We are not capable of understanding it all, the closest we get is imagining it in rough strokes and bold colors.
“Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.” Albert Einstein
You can replace the rock example from above with history. History is also chaos when you try to understand it all, only when you zoom in, you will get closer to an understanding. But if you don’t zoom in to close, and try to look at that part of history trough the lens of “bolder strokes and many colors” then you will see some highlights, and the more important figures morph into easier to understand caricatures.
A person like Ronald Reagan or Michael Jackson can be described in a book with a thousand pages but I am sure that all of you can do it in three sentences or less. When you make such a bold caricature of a person, or situation, then you (should)know that you are maybe right from your limited perspective, but at the same time totally wrong. To understand Ronald Reagan better you should read a book about him, maybe several, and for good measure, study the eighties. If you have done that, then you can form a more accurate opinion. We are capable of understanding the smaller details in more details, only if you want to understand the big picture you should use your imagination. Don’t use your imagination, when your neighbor so noisy, ask it.
We all share this problem of our nature. It is all so hard to understand, so we adopted our look at reality in such a way, that we are most of the time satisfied with the (almost literal) picture we have of the situation. Look at all the wars that are fought over the years, most of them started because of a misunderstanding of the situation. Remember the Iraq war from 15 years ago, no one was in control there, we understood what was “eroding” our will not to fight, but we didn’t look much further than that.
Nochrisis 