J. Krishnamurti

The Krishnamurti reader

15 Life without a Shadow of Control

…So the question arises, can thought be aware of itself? You are thinking now, aren’t you? When I ask you a question, the whole movement of thinking arises. Right? Obviously. Now I am asking  whether that thinking itself sees itself thinking? No, it is not possible. You see, I am asking whether one can live a life without having a single conflict, a single effort, without any form of control. We live with effort, we struggle; there is always achieving, moving, and so our life is lived in constant struggle, constant battle, constant contradiction-“I must do this, I must not do that, I must control myself, why should I control myself, that is oldfashioned, I will do what I want to do.” All that is a movement of violence. We are asking if it is possible to live without any shadow of control. Which does not mean doing everything you want to do. That is too childish, because you cannot. Where there is control there is conflict, there is a battle going on, which expresses  itself in many, many different ways-violence, suppression, neuroticism, and permissiveness. So I am asking myself and you whether we can live a daily life without a shadow of control. To live that way, I have to find out who the controller is. Is the controller different from the controlled? If they are both the same, there is no need for control. If I am jealous because you have everything and I have nothing, from that jealousy arises anger, hatred, envy, a sense of violence. I want to have all that you have, and if I can’t get it I get bitter, angry, and all the rest follows. So can I live without jealousy, which means without comparison? Test it out. Can you live your daily life without comparing at all? Of course there is comparing when I choose something to wear. I am not talking about that. I am talking about not having any sense of measurement psychologically, which is comparison. If you have no measurement at all, will you decay, will you become a vegetable, do nothing, stagnate? Because you are comparing, because you are struggling, you think you are living, but if you don’t struggle, it may be a totally different form of living.