I didn’t expect the mess
when you opened up
but I will take you apart
remove what is rotten in you
and straighten you out
not because I love you
but to make you
yourself again
love plays no role
in this world
I need your past
In part
your outer skin
in place
so I can replace
your spine
to fit
Tomorrow
we break it down
in order
to build it up
like yesterday
without the order
It is complicated
I know what I see
but do you see
what I see
so we can argue
It grew naturally
bending to the light
was cut off straight
and later painstakingly
bent in place
I don’t want to do it
but I will draw you
how you were
and how you now are
not that you will ever look at it
but
just for my own sanity
I ordered uneven sizes
of panels
for building walls
and what have you
I planned how to use them
but not how
Any thought system in me
has a function
but the truth is
you don’t need any of them
I was wondering
what keeps you together
because just the parts
and the sum of it
fall short
it should not work
but I understand now
you cling on to reasons
I wanted to know the volume
of your thoughts
so I measured it all up
and calculated it
but then I talked to an acquaintance
of you
and learned that you are never
more than half full
It is fascinating to see change
happen
not in real time
but drawn out
I overlaid myself
on an old technical drawing
of myself
just to see
If you drift aimlessly on the wide open sea
a storm rocking your world around
sitting indoors and not be aware
eyes closed you living inside
the movements gone
a silence for now
but do you dare
to open your eyes
and go up there where rain
cold and wind might wake you up
showing you the world you expected
or one that you for long have forgotten
I want to warn you
that at any time
I can grab your feet
and pull you down
I hope this will make
the landing
of your face
on the floor
less painfu…
less surprising
maybe even
welcoming
my memory has gotten worse
over the years
I remember that
it was better years ago
I think in 3D
In a 2D world
My main job
is conversion