
I follow the lines
that were made before me in the past
to get home again
I leave them if I want to
reach the mountaintop
or at least enjoy
the valleys in between

I follow the lines
that were made before me in the past
to get home again
I leave them if I want to
reach the mountaintop
or at least enjoy
the valleys in between

I can imagine what I was thinking in this old picture, but I imagine that it is all wrong.
This was on Curacau, where the weather is always the same, warm wind, but not too. We worked 6 days a week til one o’clock. The rest of the day, we went out by car to the beach, maybe did some diving, and relaxed afterward. Maybe we smoked some, just before this picture existed, sitting on a rock, letting the last heat of the disappearing sun dry my skin.
There was very little to worry about in those days, as if life stood still, or maybe hadn’t started yet. Maybe I was thinking about my life when it would start, or is that something you don’t do when you’re young? I forgot, this was so long ago.
To be honest, the longer I look at the picture, the colors, the mood, the more I forget my thoughts; I just look, close my eyes, and drift into the distance, having the best thoughts, as in no thoughts even while watching the sun go under.









In the right circumstances
we can all feel vertigo
when looking up
I deciphered my handwritten notes from a notebook from 2004. It was all in Dutch but I translated it and took some of the rambling out, but maybe not enough. I leave that decision up to you.
Structuring society in such a way that every individual coming into the world, man or woman, is given nearly equal opportunities to develop their various abilities and thereby be able to utilize them in their work.
(uit L.J.C. Beaufort, Michael Bakounin, Majesteit, pag. 30)
Why would you worry about your fellow human? In my case, the lack of freedom for others takes away my own freedom. Everyone is increasingly looking alike, as if we no longer have a choice in shaping our own future.
That freedom seems vast because, apparently, no one tells you what to choose or forces you to do this or that. You can select which school to attend, where to work, how to live, and where to go on vacation. Most of the time, people also feel comfortable with those choices: ‘It’s all good, and I feel good.’ The measure of pleasure is whether you feel comfortable. Of course, it’s nice when people feel good; peace of mind is, after all, the ultimate goal of life, I think that is what they say.
But many people don’t feel good and, seemingly, have the same freedoms and opportunities but cannot use them. They can’t because they lack the necessary capacities and resources or, as in my case, they don’t want to function within a capitalist consumption society. A consumer society involves consumption, and unnecessary products must be made to be sold with the money of the people who produce them. I admit this is a bit of an oversimplification, but essentially, that’s the core idea. Now, this itself isn’t so bad, except that no status quo can exist. Growth must happen, and the industry that promotes this is enormous.
Let’s say someone needs a pair of shoes, free of any influence but with the memory of painful, dull feet. They want shoes that prevent that memory from getting worse. Their new shoes do their job, and when worn out, they buy new ones. I’m not suggesting you should only have one pair of shoes, but how much is enough? Most people find it strange if you have 30 pairs, but many do. They probably serve a great purpose for the consumer society, but at what cost? It’s very hard to think through and measure, but I see 30 pairs of shoes made from material that must be extracted from the ground, processed, and transported, all just for the madness of someone who thinks they need so many shoes to protect their feet.

You read yourself, from years ago
are you still there
then
is now still then
have I stood still
does it surprise
me
that I once
was as they wanted
me
then
but
but my style
was there
only idea
not yet
the character
recognized
the sheen of
depression
ab
sent
my now-known
seed
which
as it grew,
showed me more
was that my salvation,
resembling a punishment.
2004

423 In the great silence. – Here is the sea, here we can forget the city. The bells are noisily ringing the angelus – it is the time for that sad and foolish yet sweet noise, sounded at the crossroads of day and night, but it will last only for a minute! Now all is still! The sea lies there pale and glittering; it cannot speak. The sky plays its everlasting silent evening game with red and yellow and green, it cannot speak. The little cliffs and ribbons of rock that run down into the sea as if to find the place where it is most solitary, none of them can speak. This tremendous muteness which suddenly overcomes us is lovely and dreadful, the heart swells at it. – Oh the hypocrisy of this silent beauty! How well it could speak, and how evilly too, if it wished! Its ued tongue and its expression of sorrowing happiness is a deception: it wants to mock at your sympathy!- So be it! I am not ashamed of being mocked by such powers. But I pity you, nature, that you have to be silent, even though it is only your malice which ties your tongue; yes, I pity you on account of your malice!- Ah, it is growing yet more still, my heart swells again: it is startled by a new truth, it too cannot speak, it too mocks when the mouth calls something into this beauty, it too enjoys its sweet silent malice. I begin to hate speech, to hate even thinking; for do I not hear behind every word the laughter of error, of imagination, of the spirit of delusion? Must I not mock at my pity? Mock at my mockery?- 0 sea, 0 evening! You are evil instructors! You teach man to cease to be man! Shall he surrender to you? Shall he become as you now arc, pale, glittering, mute, tremendous, reposing above himself? Exalted above himself?

I see darkness, light burns
a world tilts, it feels
not me, alone
the river nearby, frozen
where I wait to be
carried along
a summer will come
I rest here on last, years
decaying, thoughts

We dig deep, moving through the darkness
from my thoughts toward the inside
where there is light, to move as if on a mountain
that tilted and gets lighter with great strides
it arrives, that thought which once was
a distant view, but now shines upon
the midnight behind me, where I come from.
Out there, the world now seems far away in this
beautiful landscape where darkness has its place.
Tomorrow we will talk and think and search
and dig into depths, and laugh at words
pulling life out, of context, as if it is something
and wants to be where the I has no idea and I want
to know it all that is and may be, of
expectation and hope, to guide myself,
a dream machine.

Empty space
I still have the feeling
of a large empty space
in my head
when I concentrate
on the purpose of life
Could it be a hint,
that empty space,
that nothing?
That nothing is what I feel too, even when I try to connect with my real personality, deadly afraid to face my past for my sense of self. Who am I amidst all this noise? I have an idea, but I don’t dare reveal it yet, very afraid to let go of my familiar personality. I allow myself to be seen only occasionally, by confidants, fellow philosophers, so to speak, because I dare to call myself that, just not to everyone. So I don’t yet dare to claim that identity. When people ask what I do, I say I’m a carpenter. It comes out hesitantly, but for convenience, I say I’m a carpenter. Actually, I’m a philosopher, which is just a word. I’ve never had illusions or dreams, and if you examine them, then you’re what they call a philosopher. I once had illusions, but for the last four or five years, I’ve been almost certain that I no longer have illusions, or maybe this is an illusion; I don’t expect any great insights anymore that make me believe there’s a purpose beyond our time here on this rock with a layer of mold on it. No more illusions, only… dreams.

In its broadest definition, “civic education” means all the processes that affect people’s beliefs, commitments, capabilities, and actions as members or prospective members of communities. Civic education need not be intentional or deliberate; institutions and communities transmit values and norms without meaning to. It may not be beneficial: sometimes people are civically educated in ways that disempower them or impart harmful values and goals. It is certainly not limited to schooling and the education of children and youth. Families, governments, religions, and mass media are just some of the institutions involved in civic education, understood as a lifelong process.[1] A rightly famous example is Tocqueville’s often quoted observation that local political engagement is a form of civic education: “Town meetings are to liberty what primary schools are to science; they bring it within the people’s reach, they teach men how to use and how to enjoy it.”
Nevertheless, most scholarship that uses the phrase “civic education” investigates deliberate programs of instruction within schools or colleges, in contrast to paideia (see below) and other forms of citizen preparation that involve a whole culture and last a lifetime. There are several good reasons for the emphasis on schools. First, empirical evidence shows that civic habits and values are relatively easily to influence and change while people are still young, so schooling can be effective when other efforts to educate citizens would fail (Sherrod, Flanagan, and Youniss, 2002). Another reason is that schools in many countries have an explicit mission to educate students for citizenship. As Amy Gutmann points out, school-based education is our most deliberate form of human instruction (1987, 15). Defining the purposes and methods of civic education in schools is a worthy topic of public debate. Nevertheless, it is important not to lose sight of the fact that civic education takes place at all stages of life and in many venues other than schools.
Whether defined narrowly or broadly, civic education raises empirical questions: What causes people to develop durable habits, values, knowledge, and skills relevant to their membership in communities? Are people affected differently if they vary by age, social or cultural background, and starting assumptions? For example, does a high school civics course have lasting effects on various kinds of students, and what would make it more effective?
From the 1960s until the 1980s, empirical questions concerning civic education were relatively neglected, mainly because of a prevailing assumption that intentional programs would not have significant and durable effects, given the more powerful influences of social class and ideology (Cook, 1985). Since then, many research studies and program evaluations have found substantial effects, and most social scientists who study the topic now believe that educational practices, such as discussion of controversial issues, hands-on action, and reflection, can influence students (Sherrod, Torney-Purta & Flanagan, 2010).
The philosophical questions have been less explored, but they are essential. For example:
These questions are rarely treated together as part of comprehensive theories of civic education; instead, they arise in passing in works about politics or education. Some of these questions have never been much explored by professional philosophers, but they arise frequently in public debates about citizenship.
Read the rest here: https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/civic-education/

Sometimes a series of choices do not serve one’s concerns well even though each choice in the series seems perfectly well suited to serving one’s concerns. In such cases, one has a dynamic choice problem. Otherwise put, one has a problem related to the fact that one’s choices are spread out over time. There is a growing philosophical literature, which crosses over into psychology and economics, on the obstacles to effective dynamic choice. This literature examines the challenging choice situations and problematic preference structures that can prompt dynamic choice problems. It also proposes solutions to such problems. Increasingly, familiar but potentially puzzling phenomena—including, for example, self-destructive addictive behavior and dangerous environmental destruction—have been illuminated by dynamic choice theory. This suggests that the philosophical and practical significance of dynamic choice theory is quite broad.
Agents often lack some information about the consequences of each available option that they face in a choice situation (with the choice made under some risk or uncertainty about the outcome of that choice). But, even where such a lack of information is not at issue, effective choice over time can be extremely difficult given certain challenging choice situations or problematic preference structures, such as the ones described below. As will become apparent, these choice situations or preference structures can prompt a series of decisions that serve one’s large-scale, ongoing concerns very badly. (Of course, if, due perhaps to some substantial transformation(s), one is so fragmented over time that one has no large-scale, ongoing concerns to which one is persistently accountable, then inconsistency in one’s choices over time may be inevitable; but my primary interest here is in the philosophically puzzling cases of dynamic choice in which an agent remains accountable to certain large-scale, ongoing concerns that are nonetheless poorly served by her choices over time.)
Read the rest here: https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/dynamic-choice/

As long as I remember
I get tired of myself
so I must have
endless energy




381 Knowing one’s ‘individuality’. – We are too prone to forget that in the eyes of people who are seeing us for the first time we are something quite different from what we consider ourselves to be: usually we are nothing more than a single individual trait which leaps to the eye and determines the whole impression we make. Thus the gentlest and most reasonable of men can, if he wears a large moustache, sit as it were in its shade and feel safe there – he will usually be seen as no more than the appurtenance of a large moustache, that is to say a military type, easily angered and occasionally violent – and as such he will be treated.
385 The vain. – We are like shop windows in which we are continually arranging, concealing or illuminating the supposed qualities others ascribe to us- in order to deceive ourselves.
390 Concealing mind. -When we catch someone concealing his mind from us we call him evil: and all the more so, indeed, if we suspect that he has done so out of politeness and philanthropy.
419 Party courage. – The poor sheep say to their shepherd: ‘go on ahead and we shall never lack the courage to follow you’. The poor shepherd, however, thinks to himself: ‘follow me and I shall never lack the courage to lead you’.

The latest chance
she watches you go
I watch her go
will I take her
or will she take me later
when I miss her

Your eyes tell so much
But mine nothing to you
You have no words
Only endless feelings

You can read a lot
in whoever's eyes
but look closer
and you only see
your own

Comunication is.
Am I the only one who knows what I am saying?
I am the only one who knows what I am saying?
Do I know what I am saying?
Can you tell what I am saying?
Can you tell what you think that I am saying?
Can you tell what you think I want to say?
Do you care what I say?
Do you just pretend?
Do I just pretend?
To know what I am saying.