



I like to follow the shadows
they always move
and return at the same time
they cannot be held
but they don’t hurt
they don’t change colors
stay the same
they obey




I like to follow the shadows
they always move
and return at the same time
they cannot be held
but they don’t hurt
they don’t change colors
stay the same
they obey

On the one hand, nihilism is a problem that transcends time and space and is rooted in the essence of human being, an existential problem in which the being of the self is revealed to the self itself as something groundless. On the other hand, it is a historical and social phenomenon, an object of the study of history. The phenomenon of nihilism shows that our historical life has lost its ground as objective spirit, that the value system which supports this life has broken down, and that the entirety of social and historical life has loosened itself from its foundations. Nihilism is a sign of the collapse of the social order externally and of spiritual decay internally – and as such signifies a time of great upheaval. Viewed in this way, one might say that it is a general phenomenon that occurs from time to time in the course of history.
Keiji Nishitani, The Self-Overcoming of Nihilism page 3 (1990)

I live in enormous buildings
from where I am standing
and barely get out
I can roam around and forget
where I have been
and where I am going
I have hundreds of rooms to visit
and only one of them
is the one outside
I know it as well
as all the other
I just prefer
my reading room
inside

500 Against the grain– A thinker can for years on end force himself to think against the grain: that is to say, to pursue not the thoughts which offer themselves from within him but those to which an office, a prescribed schedule, an arbitrary kind of industriousness seem to oblige him. In the end, however, he will fall sick: for this apparently moral overcoming of himself will ruin his nervous energy just as thoroughly as any regularly indulged in excess could do.

Just read my outside
what I have boldly written
that is for you
my inside
I live in it
it can never be yours
I can only be a guide
you might handle it
just don’t be shocked
I’m afraid for your heart

I live a grey life
even when it is colorful

Your windows from the outside
they tell very little
I only see some reflections
from what you see
I hope you are more
than those reflections

I am on my way
not with a goal
but with a purpose
I am distracted
without a purpose
but with a goal
we don’t notice
each other
but if we keep going
we might meet

Every day, thousands of children die from preventable causes in which hunger and malnutrition play a decisive role. UNICEF estimates that undernutrition contributes to nearly half of all deaths of children under five.
Suppose that giving these children a realistic chance at a future, not just emergency food, but the nutrition and support needed to survive and develop, this would cost roughly 15 billion dollars per year. This is in the range of estimates made by international organizations.
Now imagine that this cost were shared only by households in the world’s high-income countries.
There are roughly 540 million households in these countries.
That means each household would contribute approximately:
Expressed as a share of income, this is about 0.02% of the average household’s annual income.
To put that into perspective:
Of course, the world is more complicated than this calculation suggests. Money alone does not solve hunger. Distribution, conflict, corruption, healthcare, sanitation, education and local governance all matter.
But even if the real cost turned out to be twice as high, or three times as high, the contribution required from households in wealthy countries would still be remarkably small.
Another perspective is to compare the 15 billion dollars needed to help these thousands of starving children with what these high-income countries (OECD) spend on other things.
Seeing these numbers makes me wonder what is going on. Thirty years ago, I saw with my own eyes how people lived in a third-world country, and they were relatively well off, but the comparison with how I lived at home, how almost everybody lived in the country where I was born, is stark.
The easy conclusion is that people are, on average, just cruel and would rather spend their money on a beer than on helping another human being.
The average rich country reserves 0.34% of its national income for aid, while the UN target is 0.7%. Only Norway, Sweden, Denmark and Luxembourg do this. If the other rich countries went to 0.7%, the problem would not be solved, but it would help a lot.
I don’t know why people are so greedy, if you can call them that. I studied history and journalism and read thousands of books in search of answers. I found many, but also none. I write about it, as I do now, but it has no impact. The practical step I started taking is looking for good charities and changing my lifestyle so I can start giving away at least 10% of my income in the future.
I give to several programs that help children directly, as well as to GiveDirectly, which gives money to individuals or households directly with no strings attached. Some of these households live on a few dollars a day, and an injection of 700 dollars, for instance, can change their lives forever.
I grew up seeing people die of hunger on the news. It is old news, yet we still cannot come together to do something about it. I do what I can as an individual, but the governments that can make a difference are representing the people, and for some reason, the majority of these voters choose not to give.

The end of the forbidden street
fades out
out of sight
because my focus
shifted

495 Our teachers.- In our youth we take our teachers and guides from the time in which we happen to live and the circle in which we happen to move: we are thoughtlessly confident that the times we live in are bound to have teachers better suited to us than to anyone else and that we are bound to find them without much trouble. For this childishness we have in later years to pay a heavy price: we have to expiate our teachers in ourself We then perhaps go in search of our true guides throughout the whole world, the world of the past included, but perhaps it is too late. And in the worst case we discover that they were living when we were young – and that we missed them.

The streets are brightest
when it is quiet
like the early morning
when natures memory wakes you
when your thoughts
wander free in light
just before the anticipation
is coming
of what you know

The dark buildings surround
me
looking up this massive dark wall
I do see light
but the darkness is concrete
and the light is just
reflecting
on tears falling down

Letters form words
words get meaning
meaning is obeyed
a wall is erected
with windows that reflect
nothing

I constructed all of this
to hold the noise out
to become myself
and now nature
takes my view away

A dead end
forgets you were there
but it will always warn you