I turned fifty today
and though it's just a number
or coincidence
but the bars of the cell I stept in
when the twenties left
are getting thinner
and the world outside more colorful
being in my thirties and forties
was great
but it was not the morning light
the expectation
or the early evening with it's anticipation
of a beautiful sunset
I am glad it's over
and I miss it
See also: https://nochrisis.blog/unzeitgemasse-betrachtungen/
It felt like I was falling over lying on the ground it was not in a dream just looing at the sky and feeling the world
words have been hanging out there like on the banner with hardly any fibers left the words disappeared absorbed at most by the surrounding I ask around but only dare to look if someone knows afraid for the answer I decide it has been hanging there far too long
The houses on all sides white in the sun grey in the shadow its calm here the road I take is made of grass the buildings move slowly they disappear till around the corner I hope as a last fleeting thought
The little kid in me disappeared when I arrived for the first time I still see him staring from a distant memory triggered to hide not from my stare but a sudden movement unfamiliarity I slowly move away as not to scare him for good
Most of us can almost
see the labels
tact on us
before we can struggle
You looked at me with no clue what I was I stood up walked away and you followed me but only with that look
You get reined in a lot maybe its the world around you or you that dances too much I suggest an other outlet so you can see this downpour and do a waltz in it
I've only listened to your inside
but I will recognize you
if I see you on the street
A little disturbance in symmetry does not disturb me it just makes me wonder why
We all live alone pretending to look at the world through misformed glass the windows don’t open in this cellar we breathe through cracks we made we love the fresh air to get in not out there
My “fresh air”, so to say, is reading books from people that I can relate to. I would like to meet people that are still alive and have similar thoughts like these long-dead philosophers, but no one has taught me the secret sign that like-minded people give each other when they cross each other in life. I like to read Nietzsche, but it doesn’t really matter which philosopher you read because they all share a willingness to search and question and have all seen the underlying problems. Their answers might be different, but I don’t think that answers are that important to get wiser; maybe answers function is being an anchor, and having one might tempt you to throw it overboard in rougher weather or when tired of sailing
Underneath are some quotes from one of Nietzsche’s last books: Twilight of the idols, or how to philosophize with a hammer. The hammer he uses is not one we use for driving nails but one the doctor uses to test reflexes and abnormalities in the nervous system…just so you know. Stucked between these quotes is a famous one “Out of life’s school of war: What does not destroy me, makes me stronger.” Because of all the (mis)use, it is now some kind of a platitude for me, but that doesn’t take away that you can still write a book about this one quote if you want.
The green door on the first floor I forget its color inside sitting in front of the window staring outside eyes closed watching the lights white inside moving on the rhythm from the outside
My thoughts are making towers of Babel without me
We go through life opening doors and even though we know its mood we still go in expecting maybe not its opposite but something else
Book I
19 Morality makes stupid. – Custom represents the experiences of men of earlier times as to what they supposed useful and harmful – but the sense for custom (morality) applies, not to these experiences as such, but to the age, the sanctity, the indiscussability of the custom. And so this feeling is a hindrance to the acquisition of new experiences and the correction of customs: that is to say, morality is a hindrance to the creation of new and better customs: it makes stupid.
35 Feelings and their origination in judgments. – ‘Trust your feelings!’ – But feelings are nothing final or original; behind feelings there stand judgments and evaluations which we inherit in the form of feelings (inclinations, aversions). The inspiration born of a feeling is the grandchild of a judgment – and often of a false judgment! – and in any event not a child of your own! To trust one’s feelings – means to give more obedience to one’s grandfather and grandmother and their grandparents than to the gods which are in us: our reason and our experience.
55 ‘Ways’. – The supposed ‘shorter ways’ have always put mankind into great danger; at the glad tidings that such a shorter way has been found, they always desert their way – and lose their way.
Nochrisis 