rambling

At this blog I write about aphorisms from the book Human all too human from Friedrich Nietzsche. Today’s aphorism included the idea that it is sometimes necessary to counterbalance your mood like when you somber you need to laugh. It was a nice coincidence that his came up because earlier today I was watching several documentaries about the Vietnam war and I do that often, but specially around the end of December to counterbalance all the happiness you get bombarded with. But technically it is not a counterbalance, I am normally pretty cheerful, and this time of year only brings my mood down, so I should watch something cheerful. I guess I do it out of stubbornness, if people ask me I can bombard them with fresh stories from the trenches.

I associate Christmas with hypocrisy and war, this is off course not fair to that specific party but that’s the way it is. I think it started years ago when I saw a bunch of world leaders singing about peace on earth and praying for it while almost at the same times people die because of their decisions. I just don’t understand how we, and I am nothing better, as so called intelligent beings can live knowing that almost 800 million people have had hunger in 2017. Most of us would give our neighbor some food but we can not come together to do something about that. For me it feels like we are having a pool party in a street where all houses are on fire. I know, what can you do, and most of the people need some counterbalance to handle these thoughts. I moved to the middle of nowhere and watch depressing documentaries.

This picture of some rocks protruding out of the water remind me of some abstract style of painting I have seen before. I see a lot of agony, crawling and screaming, maybe that’s just me.

I read a lot of books, I follow the news and I sometimes wonder why. The house I live in now is old, there is no landline or cable, and in the house, we have no cellphone connection. For that we must go out looking for one, people cannot call us for that reason. Because I wanted internet I had to install a strong directional antenna on top of the hill behind my house for a decent 4G signal. This all works pretty good, but I wonder what it would be like if I didn’t had internet, and therefore no contact with the world. At my job I don’t need to talk about the news, so I would be pretty much out of the loop, well after I also throw away my cellphone…Donald Trump, who is that? How many dead? What nuclear bomb?

But even if I hear the news, most of the it doesn’t affect me…so why does it still torturing me? My fiancé is American, that way I have some family over there, but I still wonder why I reacted so strongly last year when the election results came in. I woke up in the middle of the night to follow those debates and the elections…I don’t know why. And when it got elected I was angry, I uninstalled all my news apps and wanted nothing more to do with the world. That lasted maybe a day, but I still don’t know why something that doesn’t directly impact me made me so angry.

I knew it all along off course but like in that picture, you sometimes get overwhelmed and pulled along with the current screaming and kicking. If you study history enough than you will see thing happening again and again. I don’t think that America is a fascist country yet but having set that, this is the same way the fascist came to power. It is so easy in a democracy to stir people up and let them believe the strangest things. And I am pretty sure that Trump and his supporters would have been on the side of Hitler had they lived there and then. And I’m not angry at Trump, he’s just a dumb rich guy stumbling through his easy life, I’m angry at all the people that voted for them, I’m angry that people have not learned the lessons from history. And I’m extra angry at the people in Holland, where I grew up, where they also have some proto fascist longing for power and getting it.

I wrote in the beginning about what I see in that picture of the rocks…it reminds me of the mass graves that were discovered by the Russians and Americans in and around the concentration camps when ww2 was almost over. In Nazi Germany millions of normal, God obeying people helped killing millions of other people, their neighbors in many cases. Millions of people around the world have that same seed of hate in them as the Nazi’s did.

I can go on and on about this, and, I will. I keep my internet, and to quell the helplessness I feel I write about, and study it so that I at least can say that I tried. I wished that more people did that and learn from history.