
Sometimes you don’t know what lifts you up
other times you don’t know who you lift up
most of the time we lift nothing

Sometimes you don’t know what lifts you up
other times you don’t know who you lift up
most of the time we lift nothing

4 1 The unchangeable character. In the strict sense, it is not true that one’s character is unchangeable; rather, this popular tenet means only that during a man’s short lifetime the motives affecting him cannot normally cut deeply enough to destroy the imprinted writing of many millennia. If a man eighty thousand years old were conceivable, his character would in fact be absolutely variable, so that out of him little by little an abundance of different individuals would develop. The brevity of human life misleads us to many an erroneous assertion about the qualities of man.
59 Intellect and morality. One must have a good memory to be able to keep the promises one has given. One must have strong powers of imagination to be able to have pity. So closely is morality bound to the quality of the intellect.
82 The skin of the soul. Just as the bones, flesh, intestines, and blood vessels are enclosed by skin, which makes the sight of a man bearable, so the stirrings and passions of the soul are covered up by vanity: it is the skin of the soul.

I am a skeptic. I started asking questions when I started talking 50 years ago. I think that 99% of all the questions I ever asked were directed to myself in my head. Of all those questions I ever asked myself, I would guess that the top ten questions get asked over and over again as if we are addicted.
I found my reasoning, for my reasoning some years ago. As a good skeptic, I have learned the pitfalls we can step into if you let your mind go unattended. Reading Greek philosophers will get you a long way, and after that, there are endless philosophers and other thinkers who have put our behavior under a microscope. We are good at believing the things we live with, the thoughts that have been with us for a long time, and the stories we hear around us. Questioning yourself, your life, and the people around you who live the same direction is hard; saying goodbye to a world you know and know is not true because it claims to be true is hard.
Being skeptical and act on the consequences is not something you choose. I never wanted to ask all these irritating questions, as my siblings and friends did when they were 6 and 7, but it ebbed away in them. You can train to become more skeptical, but we all know it is primarily a character trade, a gift from nature like red hair or brown eyes. Most people are not skeptical or don’t act if the answers tell them to go another way; they are skeptics but of the cowardly kind.
So, I am skeptical about writing about this, about hoping it might change a few minds. As I said before, you can read and get educated by starting at the beginning of philosophy. These books have been lying around for thousands of years with little effect besides on a few who are already believers. What will my mediocre writing add to what is already said? I do it for the most part for myself. It keeps my mind organized, and it also keeps my faint hope that I will one day know what to write alive. And be honest, would it not be the best for this world if everybody wrote their ideas in a blog that no one reads.

When I feel
looking back
I open a window
to inside
where memories linger
to let some fresh air in
hoping to be at least
reused

There are so many windows to look through
my window

I have to go somewhere
one of two ways
one more light with reminders
one more dark
hidden reminders
remembering
such a human thing
no matter where
you go

I have to vent
but have to grow higher and higher
as not to smoke you out
but just take your sun away

Small minds are hard to crush
by walking over them
and don’t talk louder
but smaller

We appreciate symmetry
even when we are alone
we appreciate the loneliness
we also feel inside

I am living under this large glass roof
glass walls all around
where I can see the world
but imagine the smells
the sounds
and all of you

The outside seems to reflect
on what’s going on inside
this is how deep we most often go
both way’s

I don’t know why I expect there to be a manual that explains how to live life. It seems that no one has written a convincing one, though it would be helpful to get one when you turn eighteen, for instance—a manual containing a what-to-do list, a FAQ section, and a troubleshooting chapter. And I know that thousands of religions and so-called truth-tellers tell their stories and make their manuals for how to live, but that is like having an endless amount of manuals for how to turn on your TV and switch channels. I guess that only the creator of the TV can make the correct manual, and we obviously don't have a creator. For me, it's amazing that so many people act as if they know, or do they just pretend like I do to get by? I wonder what life would be like if we all had learned from the beginning that finding a way (together) is better than leading the way.

I never opened that door
but the greyness of it all
tells me
its own story
I listen to it
in silence
and reach

I sometimes wonder
out loud
inside
are memories not better
then what is happening now
is life not best viewed in hindsight
is even the best experience not consumed
by the one just following
and following
lost in the moment
leftovers in memory
is the completion
the memory of the rush
cooled down
not better
can it not be remembered over and over
like a picture on the wall
but I was wondering
when is enough
enough
are 10 good memories not enough
or 50
a 100
a 1000
?

It's clear you are there
but your shine is not touched
you're a relic
you are only there
because of what you once did
your only justification
a potential
we no longer need

It all looks the same
if seen as one
only reflection shows
and individual inside