The wall

Poetry

I stand for a wall.
Left and right infinitely long.

I look up, looking for the edge.
Infinite far away, I do not see it, so it seems to be.

I turn around, look back in time.
Infinite deep, it seems to be.

I turn again and stretch my hand.
And touch the wall, it’s warm.

A shiver pulls through my back, my shoulders are shocking.
It pulls on my hand, and then it goes back.

I look better, come closer.
I see eyes, a mouth, these stones seem a live.

My hand retreats and I turn my head.
These stones, are looking at me.

I lean back more, I see hundreds, thousands of eyes.
The wall lives and breathes is warm, alive… it’s cold.

I step back and look left and right; the eyes go again.
Infinite high and long is this wall.

Made of rectangular humans formed out of stone.
I frown and laugh, and walk further again.

Looking for an opening.
Some eyes are scared, and watch, others see me not go.

Satisfied and content they appear to be in their rectangular life.
At least, on the surface, don’t know how deep they will be here.

I stop again, curious in their depth.
Perhaps I can pull one out and determine, the thickness of the wall.

The joints are hard, gray like cement, I look better, this will be hard.
Elected prejudices together with sandy habits appear to separate the bricks.

But these hard joints tie them together, I try to move more than one.
The joint forms them, separates and binds them, it conceals their depth.

I look around, look at the ground but find nothing sharp.
With my finger I touch one of the joints and scratch with my nail.

The eyes are now horrified in the stones all around.
I ignore them for now, and I scratch more, but soon give up.

This will take forever, nails do not grow that fast, life is too short.
I walk further looking for something that can break or bite, a stick, book or a sight.

The grass is green here but I would like to see the depth of this human being and what is,
the color of the grass behind this wall

Dreaming of the stars

Bystander

Philosophy

Are we all bystanders when we look at the wars we have created? Have we created them? Or can we narrow it down? Is it the dictator or president that ordered the first shot? Why are these people in charge? Or are groups of humans like vortexes, moving around mindlessly, bumping against each other, swallowing up each other. Are we destined to turn around and around, over and over again facing the same sides again and again of all the other vortexes, swallowing each other, disappear.

It almost must be like that if you see how each generation is destined to start over again with only muted voices pointing out the obvious… for who can listen, we have been here. And the bystanders. They get turned around and around, get nauseous and sick of all the streaks in front of their eyes. They must look down to let the world stand still. And don’t look up.

Blind spot

Our mind

We have a blind spot in our eyes. We miss part of the picture, but we don’t. Our brain fills in the gaps and like our nervous system or bowel movements it does it without our guidance.

For many years now, research has found out that our brain presents us with questionable answers. One of the articles that is interesting is “Priming and communication: Social determinants of information use in judgments of life satisfaction”. As an example, they will ask a group of students if they are happy and they give a response, after that they ask how many dates they had this year and there was no correlation between the two questions, more or less dates didn’t seem to influence the amount of happiness. But if you first ask how many dates they had and then asked about their happiness they found a correlation. Having a number, your dates this year, gives your brain an easier quantification to work with so it answers more realistic the question if you are happy. You should now that the students denied the correlation.

A primer is something that is a cause of. Lots of thought’s, meanings and hunches have a primer, a cause. But do we know that, can we see that or is that fact permanently fixated before our blind spot colored in by our brain.

Hard to Imagine.

Our mind

Around the world we still hear from neo-nazies groups. There thoughts are not mainstream, and most of us know better, but… But are their ways seeping in again through the cracks of our memories?

Jews at Babi Yar waiting to be murdered

I read books about Nazi trials, I read those books in the hope it helps me to understand. I can’t imagine shooting at babies flying in the air, something that members of the einsatzgruppen did back then. “The executioners did not have enough time to finish their job. Therefore they began to put two people together, head by head, so that one bullet would kill two people. The wounded people were killed with shovels. The children were thrown into the Yar alive and buried with them.” holocaustresearchproject.org Man with families and kids, no barbarians, not illiterate or mentally ill, your neighbour did these things, and in our connected world they still do these things. Look at what happens in Myanmar.

If you could imagine what it would do to you if that same thing would happen to you. Why would you do it? It’s a question with no clear answer. In our global, connected world we are all one click away from each other, from knowledge. If I waste food or buy something I don’t’ need I realize that if we all worked together then that excess consumption could have gone to those people that are now dying of hunger. But it is not happening. I could not even Imagine what it’s like to lose someone from hunger.

But would I kill a kid, with my own hands, if my country approves of it? You never know what the future brings but I have always been an outsider, and I know my thoughts are not my own. Knowing your not a unique well of thoughts, that you can be at fault will probably make it harder to let you walk in line. Doubt yourself.

Is the world burning up?

History

If you study our history you will realize that the world was a much harsher place not so long ago.

I was just watching a documentary about Wilhelm the second and how they lived. The luxury and freedom they had while most of the people in Europe where mainly occupied with surviving, working long days, living unhealthy and hardly no chances to get anywhere. You think it’s unfair, you start reading Marx, getting upset… Til i looked around, a carpenter, in a warm house. I can get up now and go wherever i want, I can use my last money and be in Italy tomorrow. I changed careers, been to several schools, I can steer my life in large parts where I want it to go… I live better then royalty in the 19th century. I realize that there are enough people around the world that still live in the 19th century but there is no reason to believe that they will live like royalty to one day.

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