It is pretty gripping what I have read

all these years ago

now it is slowly getting into focus

I have read quite a view of books in my life, but most of them were in my late twenties and early thirties. I still consume books but mainly audiobooks. I think audiobooks have a similar value to understanding the author than reading a book. Still, I have a hard time following along when listening to a philosophy book, so that’s why I read less philosophy compared to before. I get distracted at work while listening to my audiobooks and miss a few moments, and there goes the understanding and why not read at home you might ask, wel…I have all kinds of excuses. At work I rather listen to lectures when I want to learn something about philosophy because the speaker is also the teacher and knows how to tell the story to a distracted audience. I listen to a lot of History books, and those are great, and it doesn’t matter if you miss parts of it, but the point of me telling this is that I read a lot of fancy philosophy books years ago, and though I don’t take the time anymore to read them again I still learn a lot from them.

You often live with a certain understanding of a book, it might be for the rest of your life, but as a curious person, I am always open to new insides in something I thought I already knew. Getting older and learning new things often brings me back to these books I read years ago, and this makes me appreciate them even more. It is, of course, pretty obvious that an individual living now does not understand books that are written and studied for sometimes two millennia in one reading, I tell myself that I have always known that, but I also know that it is comfortable to stick and live with a conclusion

The picture of the insect that I took several years ago triggered this thought. Some books have a grip on me, and I have to admit that I often only understand half of it; it is enough to realize that understanding the rest would upset or scare me even more. I still remember the hidden doors that suddenly opened, and a whole new world became visible and slowly in focus. It is a thrill but also upsetting.