Day 1718, upwards downhill.

From Day 911

I float slowly down

then I unexpectedly

have nowhere to go.

I realize that my Haiku’s from this period are often about getting stuck in life. My inspiration for the poems normally start with the picture, in this case its a hippopotamus seen from the side through glass , the big beast slowly floats down till its hit the ground. The poem describes the situation the only difference is that its written from my point of…feeling.

But I think about life, read books about it, live it. If you do that with some critical thinking then life will appear as a slow road downhill till the end, its just the way it is. You can sugarcoat it what you want but after your eighteenth birthday you physically decay slowly and the spring in your mind gets stiffer and stiffer. What I want to say is that having thought about life going nowhere is not necessary a reflection on what’s going on at the moment in your life.

I don’t like to complain that I am on a downhill trajectory, when we are always going down. Maybe you think you are going upwards at some points in your life, but with enough distance you will see that your still going down. I assure you, I am still a positive guy, just realistic. Why do I think then that this is a healthy way of looking at life, you might ask. I think that a part of being human is feeling, even if it is deep inside, that life is pointless. To combat this realization we humans created all kinds of ideas and stories that assure us that life is not useless. The problem is that people don’t like to be reminded of the origin of these stories and would happily kill the person that tells a different story or none. Life is more clearer without all these illusions stuffed in your head, this is one advantage of excepting you are going downhill and slowly getting there.

The funny thing Is, now that I am approaching my fiftieth birthday (still a kid according to my 75 year old colleagues) is that I still dare to take big steps in life, but no longer out of innocence and lack of respect for the consequences, but because I know that I will always find solid ground…when I land downhill.

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