
Motionless in time
a surface seems to ripple
my eyes blink
it just seems

Motionless in time
a surface seems to ripple
my eyes blink
it just seems

Without thought things are nothing
with our existence they get a purpose
Our being is there being.

I hope it also quiet
around the corner

The windows are grey and wet
it's hard to see if it's outside
the warmth
or inside
I feel something
but the water droplets slide down
and captivate me

I stand in front of you
and it looks all straight
but it doesn’t feel right
maybe it's just an optical illusion
caused by our shared history
maybe I miss that crooked world
we both thought was right
maybe I see you now
not as before
maybe I just now
stand in front of you

I just learned that the decoration on my window
where I look outside
are fancy bars
it came with the house

Your spirit glows
a ripple through time reaches
it dissolves
on a fading yellow background
where a flower grows
when we now think of you
as that proud woman
facing in our suns
where you still can open
forever
for us
For Trudy, we will not forget.

I no longer felt not only the question
if the darkness or the teeth shining bloody in there
are the worst or both
I just enjoy the looking back
from the wounds I have

Even the past that is left
will one day join
the days that are gone

If we are just a product of nature and consciousness, an outcome of a random mutation, why are we making such a big fuss about everything? What do I mean by that? Where do I get that from you might ask. And trust me, I ask those questions myself a lot.
“You can only be afraid of what you think you know.”
“The constant assertion of belief is an indication of fear.”
I love quotes like this. Consciousness has as a byproduct the realization that there is an I and a time that passes and that takes away part of our freedom. We live in a small group and call it our group, and the other groups divide the world into two, three, and more because it’s our nature. Our consciousness invents the reasons why we believe this is our land and our god is the only one. We have been used to believing our own thoughts, and we hardly realize the nature and origin of our thoughts. Only when we are drunk, sad, or mad do we realize that our thoughts have their roots somewhere deep inside us, feeding itself on an ancient well. Krishnamurti is important to me because he has a lot of knowledge of Eastern philosophy and religion and is critical about it, like a Western philosopher. He is not telling you how to live your life; he just observes and tries to communicate what he sees like an Eistein could see the universe. He is like a Nietzsche is to me, someone who understand the nature of who we are. His life story is also interesting to investigate.
“It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons for them!”
This quite is not so different from the ones above; Nietzsche also understands that our beliefs and opinions are just that. He also understands that the reason why there is constant turmoil between people is that passionate belief in our own truths. I love Nietzsche because he embraces the struggle we have in ourselves. Life is not to avoid our nature and complain about its outcome and effect but to live with it and stop attaching values to it. In some sense, he does the same as Krishnamurti, only Nietzsche has no legacy of Eastern philosophy that often has a tendency to teach you how to endure our so-called suffering instead of approaching it more… let’s say: impersonal…
“Man is the cruelest animal.”
“I would warn you that I do not attribute to nature either beauty or deformity, order or confusion. Only in relation to our imagination can things be called beautiful or ugly, well-ordered or confused.”
“People speak sometimes about the “bestial” cruelty of man, but that is terribly unjust and offensive to beasts, no animal could ever be so cruel as a man, so artfully, so artistically cruel.”
“A human being is a part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feeling as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.”

Symmetry
natures neuroses

Words are symbols we can disagree on
but not the meaning behind them
I have lived among people who don’t speak my language for a long time. I understand them well enough, but not when they speak their own dialects. But still… I learn who they are by the abundance of other signals. Language is overrated as one of the tools that helps us communicate with each other.
We might speak to ourselves every now and then, but most of the time, these words are afterthoughts thrown at our actions and feelings, a clumsy way to rationalize or order our inner world. In some sense, we also do this when we communicate with others outside ourselves. We don’t need to talk to the people we really know.

It all looks so perfect
the moments before you flower
it is not even a dream
at that moment
but a reality
caught in time
caught in your time

I stare at the handrail
I hold it
I feel it
to much

Arriving at a corner
standing still
backed into
almost
two walls
but a choice
to go
or not

I held power inside me
but they didn’t treat me
left the door open
and now I stand here
dirty
left behind
with only my head high