
You know which side the door swings
just look at it
but do you pull
or push
do you decide
or not even think about it
without shame when mistaken
or do you feel it inside

You know which side the door swings
just look at it
but do you pull
or push
do you decide
or not even think about it
without shame when mistaken
or do you feel it inside

The shadow your past drags
betrays me your hiding

The day just started
so the sun rises
though the shadow lines are cast
they seem frozen
when I pass
everything seems to be frozen
when you pass by
now I think of it
standing still

You shine light like its old wisdom
but when I follow your thread
its just modern power you project

My house is numbered
twice
so you don't miss it
but I hope you do

My exhaust is my little house
where I live on top of the roof
of my house

I try to find the angle
from where you can’t make up
what you see
so I can make up
what I see

The world is grey
but what we see is colorful
that’s what we are conscious of
looking through our window
Listening to: annakaharris.com/lights-on/

I was not allowed to park in front of your window
but I did
and still you didn’t notice me
because you don’t know me

Some people are obsessed with order
they see the world in order
not to see the mess

Some doors are unattractive
but still lure you in
and not because what’s behind it

Why don’t we hide the lock to our inside
is it to tempt

I am conscious of my consciousness
I can see with one eye my nose
but with both
I can’t
I am aware
how I understand
consciousness

One part of my reflections I recognize
the other part only in my dreams

I heard so many stories
that I forgot mine

If you want, you can read books or talk to people about the meaning of life… for the rest of your life. There are probably thousands of different answers that people have imagined, and even more people who repeat the answers they grew accustomed to. Before I had the idea that we all stand in a big circle and stare at the answer, that was hovering somewhere in the middle, we all looked at the answer from a different angle, and the truth was the part we see, like saying the elephant is a tail because that’s the only part you see of it. But now I am not so sure if there is this Platonic truth that we all see from a different angle. I think we are all just standing in a big room proclaiming truths we perceive from the myriad of echoes bouncing off the walls. And we don’t even know who made the sound that started the echoes.
I also wonder what percentage of people think about the meaning of life on a daily basis or have it as a hobby, like I have. I feel that most people are preoccupied with everyday tasks that are more crucial because they provide the body with essential needs, and this is the most vital aspect of maintaining life. Without a job, we have no food, and without food, we die eventually. Thinking about why we live is, in this sense, meaningless, and its sustenance makes you only hungrier.
What I make “of the echoes that I hear” at this moment is that our DNA wants to make sure we are the best host to protect it. And the DNA in us is fortunate because many other paths will eventually die as our sun consumes us, but our human host might be capable of leaving this planet in time, allowing it to survive a little longer. I don’t think there was or is any purpose in this. DNA was formed by accident, and now it lives in a host that likes to think of reasons why the host is so important. Our DNA is not intentionally plotting a course; rather, it’s the most probable outcome as we see it, which is often mistaken for purpose.
I am not a scientist, and the idea that we are just a host is not one I thought of, but many scientists have thought about it. You have, for instance, Richard Dawkins’s “selfish gene,” which I still remember, without many details, from when I read the book years ago (this is one of the “echoes” that is with me for many years now). These ideas align with my perspective that life has no inherent purpose. The universe began with a big bang, and it will eventually disintegrate, slowly thinning out until it disappears. It will go something like this: Our sun will eat our solar system, and it will collapse or explode, and the debris might form a new solar system a couple more times, but eventually everything drifts so far apart that gravity gives up, and all the individual rocks and other debris will float endlessly and aimlessly in a universe that is ten times bigger than the biggest size we can imagine it is now. (This last bit is just my fantasy)