This morning I was enjoying a beautiful sunrise. In a world where the news is filled with a lot of negativity, these sunrises remind me that most people probably have a normal day, with normal day problems and joys like seeing a sunrise and that all that negativity will never touch us directly. How we cope with our daily foibles depends in a great part on who we are, but these problems are, for the most part, and often only in our heads. 

It is not hard to imagine what terrible things we do to each other. You probably never witness it but you have seen it on the news or read about it in the newspaper or a good book. For most of us these problems, all these wars and negativity are just stories, they might as well be specially made for you like in the movie The Truman Show. Are you going to check if it all is real? Of course, it is real, but as real as a thunderstorm in western Africa is real for you. We know that innocent people die, that is what we humans do. Trump might become the next president and destroy America, but that is also old news. I think that it is hubris of us so called modern people to think that this thin layer of sophistication and scientific inside we feel lately makes us behave any different than we did a thousand years ago or even three thousand years ago. 

Ten thousand people fear for their lives this morning because of the bombs that might fall. A man who was chosen by their people to do that job cannot be stopped by other governments let alone by us. There is no rationale in it, hence the frustration we feel, like the frustration you feel when you walk into a thunderstorm on your way home. The world is not bad because it rains when inconvenient, the world is just the world, and we are all subject to the forces that rule nature because we are part of nature. And who do you blame, that one politician? While thousands of soldiers do what they are told to do and millions cheer them on. How can you ever punish a whole group of people, a whole country? Do you punish yourself because the money you give to your government is used to buy bombs that most likely have killed? There is no hiding and blaming because we are all the same and are all at least guilty by association. We are as guilty as the crocodile is when chewing on your leg when given the chance.  

Just enjoy the sunrise and go outside when dark clouds move above and forget your rain jacket. 

Archaeological evidence suggests that the first people arrived about 40,000 years ago in these Arctic regions. These day’s life here is not much different than in milder climates but I have to admit that the idea of living this far north sounded adventurous when I moved here. But what was the reason for those people thousands of years ago to migrate to these cold and harsh environments? 

Today I started listening to this book: Determined: A Science of Life Without Free Will.

I did this picture before as a picture of the day. I just like it, and I sometimes don’t feel like taking pictures. Often, just seeing the landscape that passes by is enough, and even if the memory of it only lasts a few seconds, I  have seen it and enjoyed its fleeting gift. 

But these mountains were never this dramatic in reality; this is just how I edited them, and how I want to remember them after the edit. My memories of that day are now this picture, maybe better, but the comparison is gone though the mountains are still there.

One thing I know: I wish I took more time taking pictures of fleeting moments. I don’t know why; maybe I just want to spend more time with reality before it’s gone or edited by me. 

You never know what the moments bring you.

Procrastination is the act of unnecessarily and voluntarily delaying or postponing something despite knowing that there will be negative consequences for doing so. It is a common human experience involving delays in everyday chores or even putting off important tasks such as attending an appointment, submitting a job report or academic assignment, or broaching a stressful issue with a partner. It is often perceived as a negative trait due to its hindering effect on one’s productivity, associated with depression, low self-esteem, guilt, and feelings of inadequacy. However, it can also be considered a wise response to certain demands that could present risky or negative outcomes or require waiting for new information to arrive. (Wikipedia)

Try to count the nails you see in this picture. You know it is possible, but without help, it is mere impossible. These randomly placed nails are, for me, a metaphor for the society we live in. We all try to count the few nails around us and succeed, giving some of us the hubris to think that if we continue counting, we will eventually count them all and find an answer. 

Do we dare to admit that we never find the answer to our problems? The irritating thing is that we know there is an answer, but one we never will know because of the lack of an arbiter. We are all alone.

I know that we humans can never fulfill the ideal of what we have of ourselves. Can I blame someone for their behavior if it comes to them without warning or chance to change it? Is my self-absorbed boss like that out of a choice, or is he just grown into that character? Can you, in short, blame someone for their character, the behavior you see, and/or interpret? 

I know I do; I do blame but mainly as a first reaction, an instinct. The potentially harmful behavior of someone else towards you needs to be addressed, of course, but my struggle is often on how to do that. Most of the time, you can avoid the nuisance, but if it is your boss, like in my earlier example, then you have limited options to choose from. I often tried talking or writing a letter to them wherein I showed myself as vulnerable in the hope of speaking to their humanity. But as often, my character takes over, and I lash out verbally. In the past, I treated my unwilling explosions as if I burned my bridges which forced me out of the situation. Quitting my job, in this case, is often what I have done to resolve the problem that cannot be solved: how to communicate with yourself and with the characters you meet without getting lost in the translation, expectation, and…