Daily picture

Day 3118, feelings.

Daily picture, My thoughts

There have been times in my life when I hit rock bottom. After the first few times, I learned how to brace myself when I found myself on a familiar trajectory. Being curious by nature, I never really judged the place; I also observed the joyous times in my life from an appropriate distance. I don’t try to judge. In some sense, all strong emotions have something in common, and that is that they are strong. 

But man has such a predilection for systems and abstract deductions that he is ready to distort the truth intentionally, he is ready to deny the evidence of his senses only to justify his logic. Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Notes from the Underground

But are strong emotions of love, wonder, or winning not better than feelings of loss and depression, you might ask? Yes, of course, at first glance. What do all these emotions have in common? They are all finite; they start at a certain point and end eventually. The more a certain feeling repeats itself in your life, the more you get used to it, and its impact will slowly diminish. The reason why you feel that first strong emotion of love or loss that strong, is because you don’t know what follows; it might never end, is what you want to believe. The reason you feel it is so strong is unfamiliarity. 

Feeling love is, at first glance, a more positive feeling than loss, but as we all know, after love, the break up comes eventually, even if it takes many years when death finally demands its toll. Loss, on the other hand, starts on a down note, but how good is the feeling of finding what was lost back? My point is that feelings have a whole spectrum that, on average, evens out. Emotions are there; in some sense, you should feel the joy and negativity; just feel them without too much judgment.

I do and have done this kind of rationalization whenever I am down, but also when I am up, and I can tell you when you are up and think about this stuff…then it doesn’t always help. But jokes aside, rationalizing your feelings does help you stay somewhat calm during a surge of emotions, but you have to be lucky to have that ability. I don’t know if it can be taught.  

One ought to hold on to one’s heart; for if one lets it go, one soon loses control of the head too. Friedrich Nietzsche

Day 3116, decent.

Daily picture, Poetry 
We have this story
not made by ourselves
but by the time we have been here 
consciously  

it is our story
of how we see this world
that might as well not exist

we are part of this real world
but live in our own 
and when two worlds touch
one of them dilutes

Friedrich Nietzsche

Daybreak
Book 1

31 Pride in the spirit. – The pride of mankind, which resists the theory of descent from the animals and establishes the great gulf between man and nature – this pride has its basis in a prejudice as to what spirit is: and this prejudice is relatively young. During the great prehistoric age of mankind, spirit was presumed to exist everywhere and was not held in honour as a privilege of man. Because, on the contrary, the spiritual (together with all drives, wickedness, inclinations) had been rendered common property, and thus common, one was not ashamed to have descended from animals or trees (the noble races thought themselves honoured by such fables), and saw in the spirit that which unites us with nature, not that which sunders us from it. Thus one schooled oneself in modesty – and likewise in consequence of a prejudice.

Day 3113, Disappointing.

Daily picture, My thoughts

Did you know that between 25 and 50 percent of the people of voting age living in the Netherlands and the USA think it is a good idea to deport people to wherever they can dump them? Two of the wealthiest countries in the world are too greedy to share some of their wealth: we want more, is what these people think, and I don’t care that you come from a war-torn country; we don’t want to give you a place where you can rest and start a new life. We want more stuff, and you mean nothing to me. 

I guess education is not the solution to a better character. First, religion fails to make people care for each other, and now education. What now. Internet was supposed to share knowledge, you say. I guess that didn’t work either. Disappointing. 

Day 3109, the sun.

Daily picture, Poetry

Friedrich Nietzsche

Daybreak
Book 1

3 Everything has its day.– When man gave all things a sex he thought, not that he was playing, but that he had gained a profound insight: – it was only very late that he confessed to himself what an enormous error this was, and perhaps even now he has not confessed it completely. – In the same way man has ascribed to all that exists a connection with morality and laid an ethical significance on the world’s back. One day this will have as much value, and no more, as the belief in the masculinity or femininity of the sun has today.

Day 3105, so far.

Daily picture, My thoughts

I’ve been a Dutch Marine for 3 years. Thirty years ago, and I still feel it. I still feel it, but not in a negative way. If I talk to an old colleague about the old days, we often also talk about what we do now and how we both miss the time when teamwork meant teamwork. As a Marine, you don’t have to tell your buddy to cover your ass; you know he does, just like any other member of the team; they all know what to do and what is expected.

The reason why we trained so hard to reach that level of cooperation is, of course, the danger that can be part of the job. I understand that, but I feel it is still part of me after 30 years. I often had and have too high of an expectation of the teams I worked in or led. I know that danger is not coming from the door in the corner of the office, but why don’t they close it when they know it’s a fire door? It sounds like a tiny thing, but for me, it is still a principle: attention to detail; in a combat situation, neglecting what is expected can harm you and others. I also understand the people who wonder why I bother; they have probably never bothered about things just outside of their reach. I have learned over the years to care less, but it eats at me.

Continue reading →