In the right circumstances
we can all feel furtigo
when looking up

I deciphered my handwritten notes from a notebook from 2004. It was all in Dutch but I translated it and took some of the rambling out, but maybe not enough. I leave that decision up to you.

Why am I worried about?

Structuring society in such a way that every individual coming into the world, man or woman, is given nearly equal opportunities to develop their various abilities and thereby be able to utilize them in their work.

(uit L.J.C. Beaufort, Michael Bakounin, Majesteit, pag. 30)

Why would you worry about your fellow human? In my case, the lack of freedom for others takes away my own freedom. Everyone is increasingly looking alike, as if we no longer have a choice in shaping our own future.

That freedom seems vast because, apparently, no one tells you what to choose or forces you to do this or that. You can select which school to attend, where to work, how to live, and where to go on vacation. Most of the time, people also feel comfortable with those choices: ‘It’s all good, and I feel good.’ The measure of pleasure is whether you feel comfortable. Of course, it’s nice when people feel good; peace of mind is, after all, the ultimate goal of life, I think that is what they say.

But many people don’t feel good and, seemingly, have the same freedoms and opportunities but cannot use them. They can’t because they lack the necessary capacities and resources or, as in my case,  they don’t want to function within a capitalist consumption society. A consumer society involves consumption, and unnecessary products must be made to be sold with the money of the people who produce them. I admit this is a bit of an oversimplification, but essentially, that’s the core idea. Now, this itself isn’t so bad, except that no status quo can exist. Growth must happen, and the industry that promotes this is enormous.

Let’s say someone needs a pair of shoes, free of any influence but with the memory of painful, dull feet. They want shoes that prevent that memory from getting worse. Their new shoes do their job, and when worn out, they buy new ones. I’m not suggesting you should only have one pair of shoes, but how much is enough? Most people find it strange if you have 30 pairs, but many do. They probably serve a great purpose for the consumer society, but at what cost? It’s very hard to think through and measure, but I see 30 pairs of shoes made from material that must be extracted from the ground, processed, and transported, all just for the madness of someone who thinks they need so many shoes to protect their feet.

Labor, materials, and energy could be used for more useful things than fashion; you can create your own style if the desire is strong. It’s just a disproportionate use of labor, energy, and materials. This is all driven by companies, fashion, and advertisements. Many people follow trends, believing they are making a free choice. Fashion sells an identity, and most people mistake that for their own identity and choice.

Now, I want to briefly revisit Bakunin’s quote. To me, it means that you can choose without the choice being made for you. Sometimes that’s difficult. If your father has been a carpenter for generations and it’s expected that you follow in his footsteps, then you do have a choice, but that choice has mostly already been decided for you. In this case, you can only hope that your father has enough time during your early years to observe whether you have a talent for carpentry; if not, then he should take on an apprentice in time and let you go.

This is not easy, but luckily, it happens less often today. What kind of problems do young decision-makers face now? Two generations ago, there was little choice and freedom; today, there is a lot of both. Only between then and now are your parents, and that is where the short time comes in to teach you how to handle this new situation. Reality moves much faster than our understanding. So now, you find yourself in a world of abundance without many real options to choose from. In your confusion, you are both consciously and unconsciously guided by all sorts of things, like that aptitude test, for example, which you took, depressed, on that day after your puppy had passed away.

If you want to be able to choose freely, you need to take the time for it, because it also means you have to learn to know yourself. That in itself is already a big task. It is wise to make temporary choices and postpone your final decision. Be skeptical and beware of complacency; that is a good way to get through this time.