You read yourself, from years ago

are you still there 
then
is now still then

have I stood still
does it surprise 
me 
that I once
was as they wanted 
me 
then
but 
but my style 
was there
only idea 
not yet 

the character 
recognized
the sheen of 
depression 
ab
sent
my now-known 
seed
which
as it grew, 
showed me more
was that my salvation,
resembling a punishment. 

2004