They grow in circles

to be

poisonous

I have set myself a goal to find out what I know about certain subjects after 49 years on this rock, I did that with the question: what is gender? I have given it my best shot a few days ago so today I was searching for a book related to that question,  I did that on one of those book sites, and before I knew it, I saw all kinds of recommendations in the corner of my eye, and one of them was “delusion of gender” by Cordelia Fine. I realized what I already knew: I would like…to read many of these books and question my presumptions.

The thing that struck me, though, was the realization that brilliant people have written all these books, and you might disagree with them, but the trend is going in the direction they are pointing at. For the most part, it is an academic question; in the popular science and self-help section, you are still overwhelmed by old ideas, but it slowly seeps down to the street. I think that in many western countries, you could already start a conversation about gender, especially with younger people.

In my fantasy, I also like to have a talk with one of those Taliban soldiers in Afghanistan; I am curious what they have to say about gender. I don’t talk about the old leaders of the Taliban but the younger soldiers. Look in their eyes, think away the beard, their dirty clothes. They look so empty, I only see outside, one that slowly will harden their inside.  They look like the typical kids of 20, full of bravado in a group and all timid when you’re alone with them. They are the perfect soldiers, too cowardly to stand up and full of nothing, they only know one life, but maybe it is not too late.

I thought about the Taliban because they stand so close to what some might think a real man should be like; they certainly believe they have all the right to act like that fictitious man. The sad thing is that there are enough men in the west that are secretly jealous of them. It could be interesting to find out where this “ultimate” man comes from. I have some ideas…tomorrow, I am tired now.