
Your words are left in the shadows
now they are gone
as long as there is light
I'll remember them

Your words are left in the shadows
now they are gone
as long as there is light
I'll remember them

Even if I see everything around
me
there is still a black border
in a square box
hiding
you for me

It should not matter
what you want to keep
private
even if all
can see it

The painting was on the wall
when I saw it walking on the beach without a sea
I don't know what it means
but thinking about it
means something

The wall with windows slowly heals over
unknown to me when I can walk
to the other side
I hope
it will be enough to see the other side
one day
through a window

Am I the grey background
or the faded
colourful flower
in my life
who is asking this
is also a question

My structure is lighter
when I am negative
I still cannot lift more
but some imagined weight
is gone

That what is left
has something to do
with what still is

I want to write about my life, not for the three people who visit my blog, but because I have to fill time, and in the hope that piecing it together will bring back lost memories.
This last point is important to me because I often tire of the stories I tell myself and others about my adventures. They are all interesting, I believe, but I am also afraid that if I repeat them over and over, they will start living their own lives, one little exaggeration building upon another. I care if the stories I tell have some truth in them.
But why would I doubt my own memories? I’m a sceptic, and as long as I can remember, I have always asked “why” if confronted with statements. Because many answers to why questions contradicted each other, I turned to other sources, and books are a great one. You cannot only read about other people’s ideas in other regions, but also from other times. If you read the literature, it is clear that we humans have a terrible memory. The problem with memories that primarily revolve around our own experiences is that we must be our own judge, and even if others were present and collaborated on our story, we still need to be cautious. One article I read, as an example, was about an experiment conducted by a young psychology student. He interviewed a group of people just after 9/11 and wrote down their experience, where they were, and what they felt. More than a decade later, he interviewed these people again and asked them where they were during that critical time. Several participants in this experiment insisted that their recollections were accurate, despite clearly conflicting with what actually happened in reality and with what they wrote down immediately after the event. They misremembered, but they were also sure they were right.

I left my dreams behind
in some past past
not because I missed them
but because they disappeared
every time I thought
I arrived
You wake up from dreams.

I like to be alone
wandering
but I am always there
disturbing
my aloneness

There is not much to say
about today’s picture
besides the silence
I feel from it
it’s nature
at its best

Each day is a little different
the sun shines a little higher
or you sit a little lower
either way
you read the news
something that stays the same

You looked at me
and I just at you
leaving
or arriving
what’s in a moment

Some people sit so high
in their crane lifting the world
solving problems
and they still don’t understand
from high up there
that it is the wind
that directs their point
of view

I see what you do
but do you inhale
or vent
your thoughts