For many years, I’ve wanted to write a book. I started, had many ideas, but soon my motivation moved on. The motivation I need is the belief that what I write makes a difference, either for the people who read it or in society. These goals seem too lofty because even highly skilled, well-known writers accomplish little; there has never been a book with ‘The answers,’ otherwise we would all know about it. I write daily on my blog, but I only reach a handful of people. This writing is more of a personal exercise and challenge rather than a serious effort to reach anyone, let alone change the world.

One reason my writing needs to be meaningful is because there are already too many opinions about life, how it works, and why it exists. The problem is that too many people are overly confident in the truth of their own views. I don’t even trust most of my own opinions, and I try to live my life so that each step I take is one into the unknown. And my character makes this harder; I like to cling to my current views and even know how to sell, even to myself, all the while knowing that it all means very little.

In that sense, I am like a scientist, defending my theories while knowing that only the knowledge I have just gathered keeps this entire structure afloat. One new finding or contradiction, and it might collapse.

I live this life in my job as a manager. Answering questions with responses that I deliver like a mediocre stage performer, convincing enough when seen from the balcony, and with a bit of luck, it persuades the people in the front row, but my fellow performers see right through me. It is not all a lie, of course, some buttons have to be pressed at the right time, or rules that we agreed on have to be followed without debate, but an overconfident manager is never a good manager in my book.

Imagine a world where all managers, politicians, and religious leaders would say, ‘I don’t know,’ more than convey their convictions. Maybe we should rule more by committee; it might take longer, but what is the rush? Who has ever decided that we should get there sooner rather than later?