I know that we humans can never fulfill the ideal of what we have of ourselves. Can I blame someone for their behavior if it comes to them without warning or chance to change it? Is my self-absorbed boss like that out of a choice, or is he just grown into that character? Can you, in short, blame someone for their character, the behavior you see, and/or interpret? 

I know I do; I do blame but mainly as a first reaction, an instinct. The potentially harmful behavior of someone else towards you needs to be addressed, of course, but my struggle is often on how to do that. Most of the time, you can avoid the nuisance, but if it is your boss, like in my earlier example, then you have limited options to choose from. I often tried talking or writing a letter to them wherein I showed myself as vulnerable in the hope of speaking to their humanity. But as often, my character takes over, and I lash out verbally. In the past, I treated my unwilling explosions as if I burned my bridges which forced me out of the situation. Quitting my job, in this case, is often what I have done to resolve the problem that cannot be solved: how to communicate with yourself and with the characters you meet without getting lost in the translation, expectation, and…